


Our Love Was Made for Movie Screens

by twelvemorestopsandhome



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-20 22:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelvemorestopsandhome/pseuds/twelvemorestopsandhome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And the world keeps spinning...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. High Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of a 3 part fic I’ll be posting over the next few days. It started as a way to channel the emotion of the last week and grew from there.
> 
> I don’t want to give too much a description but all you need to know it is quite angsty to start (no explicit references to death, that isn’t the focus here) and the vague details are initial at this point.
> 
> The song is used High Hopes by Kodaline which I would recommend checking out. Please let me know what you think. Chapter 2 is almost finished so it won’t be dragged out too long. Hope everyone is doing well.
> 
> Originally posted over at twelvemorestopsandhome on Tumblr where most of my activity takes place.

 

 

**Broken bottles in the hotel lobby**  
 **Seems to me like I’m just scared of ever feeling it again**  
 **I know it’s crazy to believe in silly things**  
 **It’s not that easy**

He’s fine. Of course, he is. The show is a hit. The public love it. Judging by the early reviews, the critics love it. And Blaine loves it too. He gets to perform every night with talented people and work during the day with equally talented writers, producers and choreographers  At the end of the night, he has texts and emails from his family and friends asking how he’s doing and telling him how proud they are and that they’ll come see him soon. And finally, he gets to go home. To an empty apartment.

 

 

_4 months to curtain. _

_Kurt. It’s Blaine..Blaine Anderson. Long time right? So anyway, I know this is outta the blue but I finally made it to Broadway! It’s a pretty small part but…it’s not for another few months but I thought I’d tell you if you…you know, wanted to come? I mean, I’d love you to be there. If you can make it. I’m at the same number if you want to let me know. There’s no rush. I..eh…I hope you’re well._

 

 

  
_**I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started** _  
_**But I only got myself to blame for it, and I accept the now** _  
_**It’s time to let it all go, go out and start again** _  
_**But it’s not that easy  
** _

__

_ 3 months to curtain _

_Hey, me again. Blaine. Just wanted to let you know that I can get you more than one ticket. You know, if you want to bring someone. Or your dad! And Carole of course. How are they? I think of them often. And F- I haven’t forgotten. Just wanted to clarify that you can bring someone, anyone. You can have as many tickets as you like. K, bye._

His closest fellow cast mates tell him he’s needs to find someone to date, to love, to  _fuck._ Just  _someone_  to do  _something_  with because this industry has the potential to chew you up and spit you out and who’ll be there to boost your confidence or bring to back to earth or get drunk with you four in the afternoon? Blaine tells them that he doesn’t need anyone else. He can do all that stuff himself, that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. He doesn’t _need_  anyone. He also doesn’t tell them that the only person he  _wants_ simply doesn’t want him back.

 

 

**But I’ve got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started**  
 **High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again**  
 **High hopes, ooohhh when it all comes to an end**  
 **But the world keeps spinning around**

There was a time, at the beginning, when New York was merely a backdrop to his story, to _their_ story. Back when he thought that his life had been all planned out and all that was left to do was live it. When is started to become apparent that things were not going to unfold they way he had envisioned  the city became a refuge, a living and breathing entity that took him in. It became a part of him, and him of it. And now it is, although it upsets his mother to hear him call it so, home. (He doesn’t explain to her that is was home long before he moved here. Couldn’t properly explain to her that a part of him was already there and all he could do was wait to be reunited with that part and although the reunion didn’t last, it was still _there._ And so is he.)

 

 

_ 8 weeks to curtain _

_Look, I know the way things ended…but would you please ring me back? You always said that when…I want you there okay? There, I said it. And i know you don’t owe me anything but if you could just come. We don’t even have to talk, don’t even have to see each other if you don’t want to. I just need to know you’re there. And yeah, I realise how many times I’ve said ‘I’ in the last 30 seconds but fuck Kurt, I need to be selfish right now._

 

 

**And in my dreams, I make the ghosts of all the people who’ve come and gone**  
 **Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon**  
 **My evil is just staring at the barrel of a gun**  
 **And I do believe in**

__

7 weeks and 4 days to curtain

_Forget everything. I don’t want you there_.

He spots his father across the room, talking with a man Blaine doesn’t recognise, looking surprisingly comfortable in his surroundings of a Broadway after party. His parents have flown in for the weekend with Cooper and his latest squeeze also joining them. Blaine loves having them around but sometimes he catches this look in his mother’s eyes, like she’s looking right into him and  _sees_  him in a way he hasn’t been seen in so long. She smiles sadly and tilts her head to the side in what could be taken as pity. Now, she places her hand at the small of his back and he turns into her with a genuine smile before bending down to kiss her on the cheek. His eyes flick subconsciously to the door as he pulls his phone out. _No missed calls. No new messages._  His mother kisses him then, a kiss that sounds an awful lot like ‘I’m sorry’.

 

 

_ 4 weeks to curtain _

_So it looks like Tina and Sam are going to come some time during the first week so if you wanted to come along with them…They said they haven’t heard from you in a while so…Are you even getting these messages?_

 

 

**Believe I’ve got high hopes**  
 **It takes me back to when we started**  
 **High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again**  
 **High hopes, ooohhh when it all comes to an end**  
 **But the world keeps spinning**  
 **And the world keeps spinning around**

He hates himself for ringing, for sounding so desperate and alone. Hates himself for the emptiness he feels when he lays in bed at night. For feeling  _anything_  that isn’t complete joy because really what does he have to feel miserable about? When so much of the world has gone to shit and so many people in his live have experienced such terrible losses and heartbreak, what right has he to cry over an un-returned phone call? (But he does cry. Angry tears of frustration. Frustration at himself, at the situation he has put himself in and at someone who clearly wants nothing to do with him.)

 

 

_ 1 week to curtain _

_Come on, Kurt. This is childish. Just ring me back either way okay?!_

It’s getting late now as he hails a cab for his parents. Words of praise and pride are exchanged again with a plan for a late breakfast made for the following morning. His mother still has that look in her eye as he closes the door behind her and waves them off. She doesn’t get it. No-one gets it. He wouldn’t be torturing himself like this if he didn’t think… _I’ve tried to stop loving him, I can’t. I don’t want to…_ after all this time, he still has hope.

 

 

_ 3 hours to curtain _

_Well, I tried. And I’ll keep trying Kurt. Talk soon._

 

 

**High hopes, it takes me back to when we started**  
 **High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again**  
 **High hopes, ooohhh**  
 **And the world keeps spinning**  
 **Yeah this world keeps spinning**  
 **How this world keeps spinning around**

 


	2. All I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here’s part two of Our Love Was Made for Movie Screens (formerly High Hopes) All I Want.
> 
> Still quite a bit of angst but there’s one more part left so…who knows?! ;)
> 
> The song used in this part is All I Want by, you guessed it, Kodaline which you can find readily on YT

 

 

  
_**All I want is nothing more** _ **  
**_**To hear you knocking at my door** _ **  
**_**Cause if I could see your face once more** _ _**  
**_ **I could die a happy man I’m sure**

He doesn’t think of him often. Not really. He doesn’t really have the time. He’s still trying to juggle a career at Vogue with auditions because he’s only just twenty-four and shouldn’t have to choose just yet. So he doesn’t  _actively_  think of him.

He’s there 3 weeks before it dawns on him why exactly he’s there. Kurt had agreed to London to get away from New York. There was no denying it.  _It’s an amazing opportunity_  he told his dad, and Rachel and everyone else who asks.  _This could really open doors for me_. And they believe him because he isn’t exactly lying. He just isn’t telling the whole truth. Knowing he is living in the same city as Blaine is slowly and maliciously eating away at him. The fear of bumping into him on the street or at a show, the disappointment when it doesn’t happen. Realising this leaves him lying awake for the next three nights.

And suddenly Blaine is all he can think of.

  _ **When you said your last goodbye**_ _ **  
**_ _ **I die a little bit inside**_ _ **  
**_ _ **I lay in tears in bed all night**_ _ **  
**_ __ **Alone without you by my side**  


 

 

 

It’s not fair. New York is  _his_  city. He was here first. New York has always been his and now Blaine has somehow run him of town without even knowing it. (He dreams and fantises Blaine appearing at his door. Sometimes he slams the door in his face, other times he kisses him so hard Kurt can almost feel his lip bruising. He can’t say for sure which scenario is the more realistic and that more than anything scares him.) Hates that if Blaine turned up at his door, he’d give anything for him to stay. Hates how weak it makes him feel to know that in all likelihood Blaine doesn’t even think of him when Kurt lies awake at night imaging the scenarios in which they find each other again. That makes it sound far more romantic than it actually is. He doesn’t need to  _find_ Blaine. He has most of his contact details, could easily ask Sam or even Rachel and probably his dad for an address if he wanted to. (God, he wants to.) But to what end?

 

 

**But if you love me**   
**Why’d you leave me**   
**Take my body**   
**Take my body**   
**All I want is**   
**And all I need is**   
**To find somebody**   
**I’ll find somebody**   
**Like you**

They’d made such a mess of it last time.

When exceptionally painful circumstances had pushed them back together, they’d clung to each other for comfort with words of love and devotion. Words they had both meant, had always meant, but looking back, had been ill-timed. Kurt had felt a certain pressure to make-up with Blaine, so thankful that he was still there, felt it would be a  _fuck you_  to the universe if they didn’t try again. He was certain Blaine had felt that pressure too although they never spoke of it. Even at the end, when they both knew it was over, they had lay in bed, arms and legs wound around each other because that’s the way it  _should_  be, right?

Isabelle has given him the evening and the following morning off to beat the jet lag  telling him to make his way into the office around lunch time if he’s able. His sleep is fitful so he decides to order a pizza and unpack. It’s only when he reaches for his phone to call the local pizzeria he realises he’s still working off the work cell Vogue had provided for his trip. He fishes his own phone out of the top drawer of his locker, praises some deity when the screen lights up full of battery. It vibrates instantly with missed calls and curiousity and concern overtake any hunger as he starts to play back the messages on loudspeaker.

He laughs as his dad’s voice fills the room with a swear as he realises he should have rang the new number Kurt gave him. He’s unzipping the first of his 3 suitcases when-

_Kurt. It’s Blaine..Blaine Anderson. Long time right? So anyway, I know this is outta the blue but I finally made it to Broadway! It’s a pretty small part but…it’s not for another few months but I thought I’d tell you if you…you know, wanted to come? I mean, I’d love you to be there. If you can make it. I’m at the same number if you want to let me know. There’s no rush. I..eh…I hope you’re well._

 

 

**See you brought out the best of me**  
 **A part of me I’ve never seen**  
 **You took my soul and wiped it clean** **  
****Our love was made for movie screens**

He feels physically sick, thinks he might actually throw up but all he can do is back himself up against the wall as he stares at his phone resting at the end of his bed. The messages keep coming but Kurt isn’t even fully sure what they’re about. He can only focus on how Blaine’s voice shudders slightly with desperation and then calms with certainty  How Blaine’s voice sounds so natural in his room. The last message plays out ( _Well, I tried. And I’ll keep trying Kurt. Talk soon.)_ and a deafening silence fills the room. He’s definitely going to be sick.

A siren blares on the street outside and he jumps to his feet. He’s definitely going to throw up now but when he opens his mouth all that comes out is a laugh. And then more and more until he is crying with it. Holding his side and breathing deeply as he walks to the bed to pick up his phone. The laughter isn’t joyous. If anything, it’s painful. It rips through his throat and escapes in continuously barks. It takes replaying all the messages twice more to realise what Blaine was asking and one more time again to realise the last message is from more than a month ago. Hitting the call button is a terrible idea but hanging up now would only cause more hurt and confusion so he-  _hello? -_ waits. He doesn’t feel like being sick this time. Or laughing.  _Sorry I’ve kept you waiting._

 

 

**But if you love me**   
**Why’d you leave me**   
**Take my body**   
**Take my body**   
**All I want is**   
**And all I need is**   
**To find somebody**   
**I’ll find somebody**   
**Like you**

 

 

__

_**  
**_


	3. Couldn't Go Another Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go so, the 3rd and final (for now) part of Our Love Was Made for Movie Screens.
> 
> There was a time earlier in the week when this was pure angst but somehow it did a 360 and well…you’ll see…
> 
> This really isn’t what I had envisioned for this but, look, we’ll see how it goes down!
> 
> The song Brand New Day by Kodaline was partially the inspiration for this chapter.
> 
> You can find me at twelvemorestopsandhome on Tumblr if you need me!

Seeing each other again isn’t the big deal they thought it would be. Sure, Kurt’s heart stops and Blaine’s heart races but that was always the case.

_Oh, there you are._

The first time around, things were always so simple, so straightforward between them. No grand gestures, just honest words of love, letting the other know how complete they made the other, how happy they were every minute, how they’d never need anyone or anything else.

And despite their weighted reunion, they’ve seemed to return to the simplicity of _them_. Almost.

They talk about Blaine’s show and Kurt’s time in London. They talk about New York and Lima ( _I haven’t been home since._..Kurt admits, ashamedly), about Burt and Cooper, about Rachel and Sam, about their whole family. And as painful as it still is, they talk about the last time they were all home, when they had to say goodbye to a friend and a brother. Blaine reaches for Kurt’s hand then, meeting no resistant but then again, when was his touch ever unwanted? The touch returns Kurt to the present and he knows it’s time.

“Why did you call me, Blaine?” he asks softly, kindly.

Blaine shrugs and looks down at his cooling coffee. “Doesn’t really matter now.” he mumbles, embarrassed as he remembers the barrage of messages he left over several weeks.

“I didn’t think to give you my work number, I mean, it’s been years.” Kurt gives a disbelieving half laugh. “I would have called you back. I’d have been there opening night, you must know that.”

Blaine presses his lips together and shakes his head slowly. “I couldn’t know for sure. It’s been years, you said so yourself. But I had to try. ”

“Even when we broke up” Kurt takes a deep breath, pushes the ache in his heart from Blaine’s admission of his doubt of Kurt’s feelings “…I didn’t think, not for a second, that it was permanent. But I was fine you know? Yes, I missed you but I could function on my own and I fell in love with that feeling. When we broke up the first time, I-

Blaine scoffs but his eyes are still downcast. “Don’t do that. Don’t turn us into that couple.”

He expects Kurt to protest  _“We’re not a couple”_  but he doesn’t.

“’Breaking up the first time.” Blaine quotes, “makes us sound like kids.”

“We were.”

“Yeah, but it was real. I don’t care what we said after, we could have made it the first time. I don’t think what happened made us stronger. We would have grown up anyway and I don’t believe for a second that we’d have grown anywhere but toward each other.” The words come tumbling out of his mouth as he finally raises his head, words he had imagined saying a thousand different ways before. He wishes he sounded angry and accusing but knows the words reek of desperation.

Kurt is silent for what feels like hours to them both.

“I think you could be right.” he admits almost casually. “But that doesn’t really matter either.”

“I guess not.” Blaine agrees with a little smile “But I’m glad we’re in agreement about it.”

They’re both silent then as they flit between avoiding and purposefully making eye contact. They’re suddenly both smiling. Kurt bows his head in a blush as Blaine sits back in his chair, throwing his head back to smile at the ceiling.

“So are you going to say it or shall I?” Kurt smirks, teasingly.

And oh, Blaine has got this. He’s said this a thousand times in his head as well.

“I would rather you were with me. Always” he confesses softly.

“Sounds good to me.” Kurt presses his lips together and makes a half shrug.

“Oh  _that’s_ romantic!” Blaine folds his arms across his chest in a fake huff.

Kurt leans forward in his chair and tilts his head to the side in thought “Well, for me to tell you that I love you, that I’ve always loved you, that whenever anything happens to me, good or bad, you’re the first person I want to tell. That since I got your messages I feel properly  _alive_  again. To tell you all that, would be redundant. Completely unnecessary, don’t you think?”

Blaine’s eyes are wide and shining but he composes himself enough to reply. “So for me too tell you that I want to do everything with you, want to go everywhere, see everything but also spend days and days doing nothing at all, that you’re my family, that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. That I love you too is also pretty unnecessary?

“Completely unnecessary.” Kurt whispers, convinced Blaine and everyone else in the coffee shop can hear how loud and quick his heart is beating.

(Years later, Blaine will crawl into bed where Kurt will be lightly sleeping and tuck his head into Kurt’s neck. He’ll admit that those words  _were_  completely necessary, that he’d been convinced Kurt wanted nothing to do with him and that he was just being kind by agreeing to meet him. Kurt will laugh gently and inform Blaine that of course they were necessary, that they were trying to impress each other with feigned nonchalance which was also, you guessed it, unnecessary.)

And that’s that. Simple. Straightforward.  _Them._

They don’t even kiss until much later. After Blaine catches the time in the window of a store and remembers that he has to be on a Broadway stage in two hours. Kurt pulls him close then, whispers how proud he is against Blaine’s lips and lingers as he tucks a key into Blaine’s hand and the completely unnecessary _come home_ goes unsaid.

  
**I’ll be flicking stones at your window**   
**I’ll be waiting outside til you’re ready to go**   
**Won’t you come down? Come away with me**   
**Think of all the places we could be**   
**I’ll be waiting, waiting on a brand new day**   



End file.
